Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He shit in the fireplace
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize