If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
