A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
