I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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