this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
