East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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