Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
