I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
