threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
