so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
