I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
