Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
