Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
