my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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