Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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