Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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