The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
