my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize