Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
