I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
