Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
