I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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