he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
