i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
