Don't you send me to vm
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize