I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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