You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's never too late to be topless.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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