ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize