How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
