Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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