bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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