Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
