..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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