It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
