i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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