Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
