May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
