Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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