Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize