i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
