Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize