i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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