So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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