So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
