evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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