he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i think my cat just said my name.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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