I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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