Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
tell me about the fingering
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
