I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize