Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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