Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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