Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
