i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this boner is exhausting
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
