wanna go halves on a baby?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
