:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize