when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
did you just send me my own nude
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just gargled with NyQuil
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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