check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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