just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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