That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
