She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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