My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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