Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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