Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
are you so shy because you have an std?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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