his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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