So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
