I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize