you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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