The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
that may or may not have been my penis.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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