I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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