i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
