i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
