So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
