I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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