I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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